Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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