well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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