There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Randomize
