So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
