I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
