youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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