I wish i was in the wii world.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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