i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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