i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
