It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
