They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
