I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
