you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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