so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize