Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
