Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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