I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
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his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
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Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄