Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
