i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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