You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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