David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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