You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
