: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize