you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
try to milk me bitch
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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