I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
