I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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