Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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