Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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