About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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