I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i love accidental penises.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
