I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
