he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
