What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
