apparently the secret to your success is patron
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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