I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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