During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
