Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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