I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
