You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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