i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
