Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
