If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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