where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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