I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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