I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
