3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I need a burrito and a hug.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
