sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
