He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
