I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize