White coat. Heels.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize