And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
