yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
