Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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