I'm really into asian looking animals
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
