you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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