How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
