I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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