I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
