and i looked up. we had an audience...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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