i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize