Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
