on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i believe in u and ur pee
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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