"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
