You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
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I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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