It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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