The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
